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The scary trick-or-treating stories I heard as a kid reflected the political concerns of the time — where people older than me were probably warned of hippy jerks dosing candy with LSD, I got very 1980s fables about satanists and the Three Musketeers bars and apples they loaded with razors for whatever satanic reasons. I can only imagine the Tales Of Trick-Or-Treat Danger currently in fashion; I assume it involves parents warning their children that a bunch of York Peppermint Patties were recalled for having Krokodil in them or something.

They used to go trick-or-treating at John Madden’s house when he lived in Victory Village and I guess he’d just have all these honey-baked hams, and if you rang the doorbell he’d tear off a fistful and hand it to you. It was different, like I said. A different time.

Rex Ryan says to heck with it (OK, he probably says $** it) and lets Dee Milliner just use the Saban Shuffle rather than learning new footwork, and he immediately becomes a top-flight corner. Tom Brady actually goes on a protest hunger strike after Aaron Dobson and Kenbrell Thompkins knock each other unconscious on opposed crossing routes, and in the ensuing confusion New York sneaks away with the title.

Like he’d be dressed as a dracula or whatever and clearly would eat too much candy — I vividly remember the image of him having, like, several sour apple Jolly Ranchers stuck in the fur of his werewolf hands the year he was a werewolf — and he’d just be really wild Cheap Hockey Jerseys For Sale for a bit, but Cheap Dri Fit Jerseys if you went there after 8:30 or thereabouts, Deanna would say he’d had ‘too much fun’ for the day and was asleep.

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